Day: June 11, 2012

Recap of the moment

Hey Lord. Mayday, Mayday, Mayday.

Please shape me, mold me and use me. You know my churning thoughts. I ask to know you more so that you would be glorfied in my life. That your love, work and fruit would be manifested in your life in me toward others.

Please reign in me. Whatever the cost.  I am struggling with work. You know that. help. Help me to simply …work hard and be diligent. I need a big dose of get-er-done. Yet let me trust in you for the outcome.

Please give me your love for – (named people). Please take down anything in me that is a barrier of your love in me for these individuals and any others.

Please draw my sons to you. Protect them.

Lord. I did it. I sent the message. I acted. I now think that it may be less about the message or even that I heard you well …than it is that I obeyed you. Protect those who receive it. Jesus …unity. Do not let me be a cause of disunity. I could not bear that but I am so capable of that.

Thoughts of Thanks:

  • Thank you for a great experience volunteering at Alaska womens run. It was really good. There is something there to see ..to apply.  This was a ‘third place’. It makes the third place conversation make sense.
  • Thank you for garage sale. The goals was accomplished: Noah kept busy and I was able to have a great conversation with the new neighbors. We may have a street potluck in July. We did not sell jack ..but who cares.
  • Thank you for receiving the invite to speak at Pastor Marks departing celebration dinner. I needed that…to have to sit down for several hours and truly meditate on the impact Mark has had on my life and others. I have been so deeply delved into my ‘churchdom’ ideologies that I lost track of how you have used Mark and CCC to impact me..towards you. And what I said up front seemed to be well recieved. You know I do like to excercise that gift of speaking. I like to use the humor you have given me to glorify you. Can I have more? ..in a way that glorifies you?  I do not want it if it only feeds my ego. That would be meaningless.
  • Thank you for the motorcyle loaner. We are giving it up today but it was enjoyable.
  • Thank you for the people who came up to talk to me on Sunday. You know my tug of war with Sunday church. I love it and indeed it seems I hate it. I have not been able to resolve that yet. I love you and your people ..or do I really?
  • Thank you for Noah’s friends.
  • Thank you for Trevor Martin using Micah on his work. That is just really cool and a big answer to prayer.  I have come to admire Trevor ..not just because of his capability but I think because he considers me to be a friend. I am not an easy friend to keep. I think I fall really short on being a friend to others. Those who still call me friend after knowing me ..I must cherish. I cannot afford to lose the few.
  • Thank you for mom calling with good news about Paul. Give me grace on how she communicates it :).
  • Thank your for messy group and Erika to bounce my churchdom-isms off of.
  • Thank you for Renee. Thank you for the growth in our love in marriage. Bind us to you. Let us end well together.
  • Thank you for kitchen remodel. Give me perseverence ..and cash 🙂 ..use it to draw all involved toward you. Anything else is pointless. I don’t want to spend a dime if it does not give you glory.
  • Thank you for Noah ..and time at starbucks. I do enjoy that kid. Establish the work of his hands. Protect him…please Lord.
  • Thanks for Scott. ..Bob ..Kellers …
  • Thank you for blogging. It’s kind of cool. Let it give you glory. Anything less is pointless.

Lord ..the world..the pain.. the evil ..the lostness. How am I to live in this? Give me your burden for the world. Show me what that means and how is it to be manifested in my life. Do not let me waste my life. Lord – I must finish well. It seems like I am not ..and must admit I wonder if I have yet to matter. Do not leave me in this place. Do not let me be satisfied.  It seems impossible to be Christ to the world. Transform me. I surrender all. I confess my propensity for idolatry. I surrender that propensity to you. Bust it up. Whatever it takes. Teach me to love others with your love. I have glimpses of that. Still too much … other stuff clouding my path. I give you the stuff. Bust it up.

I do so look forward to what is to come. I want it now. I think that’s ok. To glimpse it ..to hope for it ..and not want it now ..would be stupid. How can one glimpse the next life and not grow weary of this life? I am not yet able to live to Paul’s words: ‘To live is Christ, to die is gain’. I get the gain part. The living I have not figured out.

Lord … please watch over Paul. I do miss him so. Establish the work of his hands. Thankyou. As I see my love for him It gives me a glimpse of your love.

I am aware more of late that I do no listen for, recognize or speak to your voice in me. Teach me Lord to speak. Let loose the contagion of you in me.

 Jesus. You rock dude. You are awesome. I must know you more.

 ..end today’s blog.

Porta Potty Pondering_ June 11, 2012

Imagety Image 
 Great weekend.  Renee and I volunteered at Alaska womens run. 7,000 participants. I must admit I was a bit surprised at how much we enjoyed this. It started at 7am with the ‘porta potty decoration’. I had no idea what I had signed up for. I simply showed up as grunt labor. But the assortment of spectacular artwork was quite interesting. 
 
But the water station was the highlight. Renee and I both commented at how we so enjoyed doing this with a group of mostly strangers. Renee in particular commented on how amazing it was to be thanked for volunteering by the passing runners.
 
Sometimes life is full of really good surprises ..even while you are volunteering. Perhaps especially while you are volunteering.