This Week
This week had ups and downs. It was more difficult than I had expected. I have I think returned to some rhythm at work and I’m glad for that. Yet tears are not uncommon on the commute in and back in the evening and sometimes …some yelling as well. I felt more anger this week. I think part of us feels like we should be moving on. ..but part also knows that’s easier said than done. For me there is a civil war struggling within.
As I observed the family, I think the processing is different for each of us. Renee and I had an exchange where I told her, “I am more worried about you than I am about me” ..upon which she answered, “Well I’m more worried about you than I AM about me”. There you have it.
Renee and I both agree that we also are just naturally missing Micah – because 4+ weeks is the longest we have ever gone without one of us being with him. We simply and deeply miss him.
Spiritually – I found this week a struggle. I simply offer that to the Lord. It feels like a desert time.
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The day of story:
I’ve been working on a summary document around the facts and events of Micah’s last day. It has taken over a month to pull together some of the facts and memories …and to find the courage to finish it. I think Renee and I needed to put as much context around this as possible. While many questions will go forever unanswered this effort at least allowed us to define what can be ascertained and perhaps to at least hypothesize some answers.
I do not like the document. In part because I know the document is not a good read …certainly not in content but also not in grammar, flow or readability. The facts are generally correct but I wonder about my words, the tone, the implied meaning. Words cannot begin to express my thoughts that day nor now. I cannot look at it anymore. We shared more tears over the finalizing this 5 page document this week. I won’t say any more about that here.
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Noah and I
Noah and I are meeting twice weekly now for coffee, chess and our January message planning. Notably, I won both chess games J. I must admit I think I signed us up for this January gig in part because I knew we would meet several times a week to prep for it. I think I wanted that most of all…whatever the actual outcome. Just to hang with Noah and to see his creativity and humor in action. Truth be told, it has been awhile since I have beaten him at chess twice in a row.
This week I was not very focused in our conversations. Noah carried the conversation and the mood. He had some great ideas. We gave ourselves some homework for the next working session:
- Listen to our last message shared 4 years ago just to see if we might launch anything from where we left off with that conversation: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/community-covenant-church/id201079192?mt=2 January 1, 2011. Conversations that Matter.
- Read some Acts
- Listen to Tim Keller podcast centered on Acts 17. It turns out that Noah and I both like listening to Tim Keller podcasts. Go figure. Kind of cool.https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/timothy-keller-podcast/id352660924?mt=2October 22. A world of idols.
- Pray the questions: What is God saying to me and what does he want me to share?
- Jot down any notes or thoughts that come out of the above.
While we were talking I asked Noah what is going in Him ..Spiritually. He quickly asked me how I would answer that as well. Honestly this week – I did not have an answer or at least did not choose to voice one. I’m glad Noah can be patient. I was moody this week. I can be moody. That is nothing new.
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Paul and I
Paul came over to watch football with us today. The Seahawks won! Paul has come over to the house at least two or three times this week and continues to call me daily just to check in and say hi. We are getting a bedroom painted and ready for him over thanksgiving. He plans to move back in with us for a while.
Paul is into building computers. He asked me if I would help him build a custom box for the latest new build. It is a pretty wild design. He is already busy buying the components piece meal. We are brewing some options on the box. Paul is also rebuilding our home network and shopping for some new gear ‘for me’ on black Friday week. We scored an awesome wireless router. Paul strategically put in my Amazon on-line cart. I know Micah would have that thought that this was cool as well.
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Humor:
Renee and I cried and laughed this week. Laughter and humor are key ingredients in our house and lives. That is more important than ever now. We do laugh and joke with each other a lot …even now. I thought of a couple of things we laughed at this week.
Chopped
For some reason as a family we have enjoyed watching a couple of cooking shows on NetFlix ..Chopped and Cutthroat kitchen. Kind of surprising. Weird but fun.
The Cat and the missing puppy
We have discovered that our Cat likes to chase stuffed mice tied to helium-filled balloons. Lots of laughter this week watching the house cat chase the flying mice.
Admittedly, however, we still prefer dogs. Paul and I are brewing a new puppy purchase scheme. Renee is not so thrilled. She claims she always ends up taking care of the pets. We have no idea where she came up with that idea.
Reinflabbergasperinating:
My brothers and I used to make up words when we were kids. I have always remember this one. I joked about this with some friends and coworkers this week. As an outcome, I decided it is time to officially define what it means. So here goes;
Reinflabbergasperinating is the feeling a person or persons get when something is suddenly or unexpectedly fun or humorous. It is the equivalent of a refreshing mood lightening pleasure from a sudden and unexpected cause for laughter. For example, the first time you successfully use the word reinflabbergasperinating in a sentence, or in a business meeting … and as a result find others unexpectedly smiling and laughing.
Loot crate:
I had no idea what Loot Crate was until Noah said, “hey dad have you seen what came with my latest loot crate?” I responded with, “Your loot what? What’s a lootcrete anyway?” Noah evidently has been receiving a loot crate for several months. I am just now noticing. I actually found it interesting and admittedly, I am looking forward to the next Loot Crate. Indeed, I think the whole thing is reinflabbbergasperinating. What is Loot Crate you ask? Evidently some ‘geeks have made it their mission to find all of the geeky, gamer stuff out there and send you a box of it every month’ …for a small reasonable fee … of course! It was only a matter of time. https://www.lootcrate.com/
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Salutation:
Keep smiling and laughing friends…even in the midst of the mess. It is a gift from the Lord. I think Jesus enjoyed a reinflabbergasperinating moment here and there.
Desperate Pursuit 